Music Spotlight: Celph Titled

Alt:Mag got blocked at our college by the fascists at Lightspeed Systems. This is a real pain in the ass as it means some of the team can't do much towards the site during our free periods. At least Blogger still works though. Apparently Alt:Mag is categorised as 'gaming' and so I thought I'd do a music post to contradict that, cause I'm a knob. So today, I shall talk about Cuban-American rapper Celph Titled.

So, what makes a rap song good? No, it's not the amount of time they make 'swag' or weed references. It's good lyrics! Celph Titled has got plenty of good lyrics. When you hear him rhyme, he may come across as kind of a joker, but you know the dude is serious about what he does because his lyrics have obviously taken some time to write. He has a distinctive deep voice that makes him stand out amongst others if he is doing tracks with more than one rapper on them. This is especially the case when he raps on songs as part of hip-hop supergroup Army of the Pharaohs. An example of one of his many awesome raps can be heard below in their songs 'Swords Drawn'. He comes in at 3:28.

No one can write punchlines with as much punch and wittiness as Celph Titled can without taking some time, thought and effort. Some of his punchlines are insane and disgusting and after getting a dose of a few of his best you will find yourself trawling through his discography just to find more and more of them. They are the sort of punchlines that when you hear them you have to shake your head at them and laugh because they just hit so hard... and they are memorable too. It's the kind of feeling you get when you hear a rap battle and one of the rappers drops a really decent line and the crowd makes that "oooooo" sound. Celph has some pretty sick lines on the song below. He comes in at 2:00 minutes and even makes a sneaky reference to the song I showed you above.

But he doesn't just rap for Army of the Pharaohs, he has solo music as well. If you are interested in getting into Celph Titled's music I recommend getting buying his The Gatalog: A Collection Of Chaos 4 disc album/mixtape/compilation thing. That's 4 discs (75 tracks in total, holy shit!) of sick beats and lyrics for your ears to indulge in. Also, the Army of the Pharaohs discography is worth checking out as well, as Celph Titled drops some great bars on their songs, along with the rest of the army. Load all those tunes onto your iPod and feed your ears with some proper decent rap music. Sorted.

Some excellent Celph Titled punchlines:
  • "I’m cooking something fresh and y’all reheating pizza"
  • "Your album sells like clothes at a nudist club"
  • "The closest you ever came to a punchline, is waiting for refreshments at the prom in 89'"
  • "I'm in the bathroom with a tommy gun dropping gangster shit"
  • "Army of the Pharaohs, we never make love songs, we finger fuck bitches with Freddie Krueger gloves on"
  • "Celph Titled's on some real insane sick shit, cut the president's face off and rob a mother fucking bank with it"
  • "Throw you off that fucking roof and see just how fly you are"
  • "Don't ride your bike across my lawn coming to see me, 'cuz them landmines will fly you across the moon like E.T."
  • "Leave you going out in style with Louis Vuitton body-bags"
  • "You wanna know what a real pussy feels like? Stand in the corner and hug yourself real tight"
  • "Put so many rappers in trunks, I'm coaching swim teams"
  • "You couldn't kick verses playing soccer with a bible"
  • "You wouldn't get head if you was a guillotine executioner"
  • "We do black on both sides like we barbecuing Mos Def"

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