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How To Pick Up Hot Chicks 101: Dress To Impress

There was no Video Of The Week yesterday, so apologies for that people! But here is a little thing to make up for it.

So the bag above may look like a bootlegged monstrosity to you. You may also think that it was probably knocked up in a factory in China somewhere, with the soul purpose for its creation being to make people who have more money than sense burn a whole in their chinos, but actually it will make you the biggest chick magnet you can possibly be without having to lie about how you are related to Brad Pitt. 'Why?' is what you ask. Well I shall tell you. Instead of walking around in that same sweat stained Asking Alexandria t-shirt you always wear in order to catch the attention of girls at your college who may, by a rare chance, actually like the same band as you, you now have a nifty bag you can wear that attracts the attention of not just one, but three types of girl! Oh yes. It attracts liberal girls who will think your support of Obama equals you having an open mind in regards to politics and other trivial matters, girls who think Sonic is cool and pretend to know all about him when in reality they don't even know what a Mega Drive is, and finally, you have the Harry Potter fangirls who will love to have you for themselves so they can bend your ear about how they were one of the first to sign up to Pottermore.
So there you have it. Get this bag and you'll be on the way to your very own harem ending. Be sure to pack tonnes of 'johnnies' inside it, because you'll definitely need them with all the poontang you will be getting. And don't worry if it seems people are laughing at you when you wear this bag, because you see, they are actually laughing at themselves because they are so ridiculously uncool for not having one of their own.

 
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